So There!

My brother Bill (Wilford Brimley, you know) was on The Late, Late Show Wednesday night. It's a show I don't watch. Too crude and stupid. But Wednesday I watched.

I missed the first part of his appearance, came in just when Craig Ferguson had asked Wilford what kind of a horse he had.

"A brown one." Off to a good start, I thought. Exactly what I would expect from Bill. Exactly what I would want him to say.

But I found the whole interview awkward; Ferguson appeared tense. That sounds right. Bill can make a person tense with his customary one-word answers and a touch of sarcasm. All in all, though, I liked it.

Bill asked Ferguson's nationality--duh, Bill--and, when he learned it was Scottish, mentioned our grandmother Margaret Kirk. "Scottish for church," said Ferguson. Duh, Craig.

My brother looked okay, not great but okay. Less hair than when I saw him last--like in a TV commercial. But with that great mustache. When Ferguson said he could never grow a mustache like that, Bill said, "It's a gift."

I wonder about rehearsals for an appearance like that. I can't see my brother putting up with a rehearsal. I wondered how they got him to come on the show at all.

At one point--and it felt like Bill was ready to be done with the whole thing--he said to Ferguson, "You're a nice young fellow, and I've enjoyed our conversation." Condescending? Maybe. But I don't think he meant it to be.

At the end, Ferguson said, "We have three options for our guests as we come to the end of their appearance. One is to observe an awkward silence; another is to give you a mouth organ; and the third is . . ."

But I can't remember what the third was, even though Bill, who seemed not to understand the whole concept (I couldn't blame him), asked for a repeat.

"Oh. Okay. Give me the mouth organ," he said.

So Ferguson plopped down a little box and, as Bill opened it and removed the mouth organ, Ferguson said, "We offer anyone who can actually play the mouth organ a gift of the Gold Mouth Organ."

Meanwhile, Bill put the thing to his mouth and made a few weak sounds. Ugh.

Then, and this is the best part, he launched into Oh Susannah, slick as could be. And perfect.

Ferguson shouted for joy and surprise, jumped up and ran from the stage, and returned carrying something on a red velvet pillow.

The audience was loving Oh Susannah, and so was I. As Bill finished it with a nice ritard, the audience cheered, and Ferguson handed Wilford the Gold Mouth Organ.

"This is for me?"
"It is."
And Bill held it up for all to see.

Was that rehearsed? I wonder. Whatever. I really liked it.

See! He's not just an old actor with a big mustache who now does diabetes commercials. He can also play the harmonica.