Monday, June 24, 2013

From the experts at Zamzow's

Today I went to Zamzow's to see if they have anything effective for raccoon repellent. The woman who helped me said I should call the state. That's the state of Idaho. They'll come, she said, set a trap, haul the animal away afterward. She didn't know which agency.

My experience with the "state" is that they will do none of those things. Instead, they will say things like, "Yes, that sounds right. That's an area where raccoons have been seen in the past." And, "No. You cannot kill them. That's against the law." Or perhaps, "They were in that area before humans, you know." Maybe even, "They'll be gone in the winter."

I didn't say this to her, although these are actual responses from the "state."

In fact, I was pondering her use of a word I hadn't heard. She used it four times, thrice for my benefit and once more for the benefit of a salesman and me.

The word is deprivate. Raccoons deprivated her chickens. More than once, apparently. (I think she means they killed her chickens, but can I be sure?) And that is why she thinks the "state" will come and help me--because raccoons are deprivating my house.

When pressed, she wasn't sure. Wasn't sure about the "state" and what they might do. She was sure about the deprivating that happened to her chickens. Mind you, she never said deprivation or deprive.

What do you suppose really went on with the raccoon and her chickens?

And when pressed, the salesman who started out knowing everything actually didn't know anything except that raccoons can be dangerous.

To quote Axel, Duh.

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