Grossed Out

Occasionally, a person is tempted to say, Well, now I've seen everything. But, of course, you can't say it because it's just not true. There's no way to anticipate . . .

So I can't say it of this thing I'm about to put down here. But I can say that its blatant vulgarity and grossness stunned me for a moment--although I guess it shouldn't--and it most certainly creeped me out.

It's a commercial for New Bath or Rebath or Luxury Bath, or whatever company, and its format is a phone call between an old guy--mid to late 70s--and a woman of similar age.

He says, "How about I come over tonight (or some such thing) and we have a nice hot bath together?"

I'm thinking, it's a phone call, which has significance. It means they aren't married, for one thing, but obviously, they have a history. You didn't need me to spell that out for you probably.

The 70ish woman does not say, "You creep." Which I thought she might have and should have said because, look, I'm pushing 70, and there is nothing about this scruffy-looking dirty old guy that appeals to me in any way under the sun. He looks like a creep to me. And an old one.

But no. She says, "I'd love that." Which about floored me. Is she kidding? Has she seen this guy? Is all her taste in her mouth? And has she no sense of fundamental morality either? I know the answers.

She continues, "But I'm having such a hard time stepping over the . . . " whatever, getting in and out of the tub is what she means.

So then--I think this is what happens--someone else, a youngish woman, cuts in on the phone call (and what are the implications of that?) and tells this stupid old woman not to worry. Rebath can make her tub easily accessible and, I guess, they can do it in minutes.

So there's a click and the older woman says something of that sort to the creepy old guy, and he says, "Okay. I'll be right over and wash your back." Sickening grin to go with this utterance.

I don't know how to spell the word I'm thinking, but it's far beyond yuck.

Should I ask what this world is come to? Am I the only person who thinks this offensive and foul and, besides that, an ineffective ad? Do old people really want this kind of stuff? Should I go on?

No.