Merry Christmas, and I mean it

Yesterday morning I spoke to myself, out loud, as I got out of bed. "Hooray!" I said, "it's Christmas Eve day and I don't have to go anywhere."

I got dressed, got my trash out to the street, went in and turned on the light over my kitchen table. Pop! Blue flash.

Which meant I had to go out. Thank goodness Home Depot is close. Drove up there.

"Well," said Chris, "we have it, but not in clear."

It has to be clear because of the light fixture it goes in. I was tempted to get the opaque bulb and be done with it, but I just couldn't. Chris looked up Pay 'N Pack's number. I called them from Home Depot (aren't we so glad for cell phones?).

"Ask them if they have a G40 bulb," said Chris.

I did. "Do you have a G40 in 100 watt, clear?" They had it. I thanked Chris for his help and told him I'd be going over there to Grover's. He said he was glad of that and to tell them Home Depot sent me.

"I'd never send you to Lowe's," he said. "I don't like that place, even before I started working here." I wasn't about to go to Lowe's. I never think of it. Besides, it's farther away than Pay 'N Pack. Off I went.

All of this was dandy. Which is code for it wasn't dandy.

I had to go all the way over to Franklin and Curtis to get my light bulb. Franklin and Curtis is quite near the mall, which is where I ended up--I should have known it--before stopping at Winco on the way home. I had to get pretzel sticks and sour cream.

So much for . . . you know.

I needed to get home, though, so I could make these no-bake treats, the recipe for which I cut from the Kashi puffed cereal box and which, after I made them, I then named Wotear. That's an acronym for Waste Of Time Energy And Resources. All mine.

Kashi/pretzel haystacks is what they call them. Coconut, chopped almonds, pretzel sticks broken into 3/4 inch pieces, lots of Kashi puffed cereal (big mistake), peanuts. Twelve ounces chocolate chips melted with all the peanut butter I had left--1/2 cup--stirred into the dry stuff. Then you drop them (no easy task) onto waxed paper and set them in the fridge to chill. Wotears. They didn't taste very good before chilling. Maybe they would after. But I decided not to hold my breath.

I took some over to Darringtons. Charlie said the pretzel part was good but the rest of it--that would be the Kashi part pretty much--was weird. No kidding.

John wanted some. I put about three tiny grains of coated cereal in his mouth. About five seconds later he said, "I don't want it" and began spitting it out into my hand which I was lucky enough to get there in time to catch most of what he was spitting.

Wotears. I left the tin of them with the Darringtons. Ann hinted she might throw them out. I assured her I have plenty more at home, like 50. I wonder if any of those Schiess boys might eat them. Nah.