The Way of Things

In my early teens I would sometimes be in my mother’s room while she dressed. Many times I watched as she pulled on her nylon stockings. (No pantyhose in those days.) First she would put on a pair of white gloves, slide her hands down into the nylons, one at a time, and then pull them up and hook them to the garters that hung from her girdle.

It was the gloves that interested me. I wore nylons, but I didn’t put them on with gloves.

So I asked. Her hands were so rough, she explained, that they would snag the hose if she didn’t wear the gloves. I remember thinking it a quaint practice, one I’d probably never engage in.

I was right. I don’t don gloves before donning pantyhose. But not for the reasons I thought of when I was young.

Because the truth is, now that I'm not young, I’ve thought about doing it, more than a few times. My hands are rough, you see, maybe even rougher than my mother’s hands, and obviously I didn't think they would be. And they do indeed snag my pantyhose so that a new pair doesn’t look new once I get it on my legs. Funny how things turn out, huh.

But I have concluded the gloves would do me little good because of my feet, which are also rough, quite rough. They snag the hose. And I see no help for it. I can’t very well put on socks before putting on pantyhose. Now can I.