Obviously I feed squirrels, too, although not willfully, or at least I provide a happy environment for them. Against my will, I say again. Obviously they like it here. They can be seen year-round running along the tops of my fences, usually one at a time but sometimes in twos and threes, stopping now and then to flick their tails, a behavior I always consider sexual but which I will have to google, I suppose, to know for sure.* They can be seen chasing one another up and down my trees during spring and summer, in twos and threes. They can be seen late fall and winter burying their cache in my back yard, digging through the snow, if we have it.
Sometimes I knock on the window to scare them off. Fat chance. I have also been known to step out on my deck and holler at them, and even that does not frighten them unless I start out in their direction with threatening steps and words. But I know the truth: they are not afraid of me, and all my threatening behavior accomplishes is a delay in their burying ritual or whatever they're up to in my yard. And where do they run in the meantime? Up one of my trees, of course, to wait until I go back in the house.
Just this morning I went to the front door and yelled, then banged on it, then went out and yelled, then stepped closer and yelled, then threatened to throw a rock, which I have done on occasion, never hitting any living thing. This squirrel, he ran up the big ash tree and just sat on branch looking at me. I was four feet away from him, and I'm pretty sure I saw him smirk.
*I did google. Turns out I was right. Tail flicking is sexual, precopulatory usually, but it can also be a defensive behavior or a warning for other squirrels. So says The Scholarly Squirrel A Definitive Online Resource for the Squirrel Enthusiast. That's not me, Enthusiast, but I read the page anyway, and in my short research, I also read the following:
Squirrels occasionally find their bushy tails tangled in knots, even elaborate braids, with the tails of other squirrels who share their nests. Groups of confused squirrels (and other rodents) have been discovered in this condition periodically since the early 1800s. If you find a group of such unfortunate squirrels, contact a wildlife rehabilitator immediately. Frantic to free themselves, squirrels have been known to try to gnaw through their own tails, so don't delay!
Yeah, right.
As for me, I see no help with the squirrels. They were here first and all that. I already know I am not allowed to kill them, if I had a gun, if I could shoot it here in my neighborhood, if I could hit something I aimed at, like a squirrel, if I would have the heart to do it.
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