Don't be thinking what you're thinking. I know what I'm talking about.

Here's the thing. When your hair is white, you are invisible. That's one thing. Here's another. Men, if they do see you, think they can say stupid little cutesie things to you, because you are old, and you will love it. You will be glad and grateful for the attention. And clearly they think old women are stupid, without functioning brains.

So yesterday, at Albertsons, people were giving out samples of food--sushi, shrimp, and sections of Clementines (mandarin oranges). The guy handing out the oranges was probably early 50s, if that old.

Here is what he said to me. "You behaving yourself?"

He could have said, "Here. Have a section of orange." Or the like. But I know very well he thought he could ask "You behaving yourself?" because I'm old, and he thought I'd be flattered by the attention and say something like, "Sure trying to."

I have told this incident to my sister, who says I am wrong about it. He may have been flirting--not exactly her word. But I say this: No. He is at least twenty years younger than I. No. I cannot see him saying such a thing to a young woman. That would establish a different context entirely. And No. I have had experiences like this before, people--that's people I don't know--calling me dear, hon, even sweetie, and adopting a certain tone of voice that underscores my age and their ignorance.

I don't like it.

So I did not reply like a sweet old lady. Instead I said, "Why would you ask that question?"

For a moment he looked crest-fallen (an expression only old people use), but he did recover, and he said, "Rumors."

I laughed, moved him up a notch or two in my estimation of his sense and smarts, and said, "Good answer." Then I walked away and ate my mandarin orange segment. I've tasted better.