Watch what you say

In our family we love words. And the misuse of them. One of our all-time favorites is the one our kids brought home from seminary many years ago. Their teacher, a fine fellow, was talking about something hard to understand and said, "I just can't phantom that."

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Sunday I heard a couple of good ones, both from Lola.

Jeff has gone back to school. He's in English 102, a freshmen writing class. They were to write an analysis of a particular Star Wars movie, which Jeff did. In their group discussion of the essays, Jeff read his paper and came to a part where he spoke of the Light Saber. As soon as he read it, another student in the group said, "What did you say?"

Jeff said, "What?"

"What did you call that thing?"

"Oh," said Jeff, "Light Saber."

"Light Saber? Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure. Light Saber."

"Oh man," said the other student, "all through my paper I'm calling it the Light Saver."

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Overheard in a doctor's waiting room.

Two men talking.

First man: So what do you do for a living?

Second man: I used to drive a bus, but now I'm retired. Medically retired.

First man: Oh. Bummer.

Second man: No it's good, really. Now I don't have to put up with all that rigor mortis of driving the bus.