And so

As I recall, Matthew Arnold advocated the examined life. So do I . . . truly, I do. I have always been one to look beneath the surface to find meaning. I do not recall what he said about examining it in public or in a journal others might one day read. The idea of an audience is always in my mind as I write. That's as I write anything. Because, as I taught my students, all writing is written to be read. The idea of audience helps and sometimes hinders, as the preceding remarks indicate.

But this morning I have thought about examining certain of my beliefs. That's because I have been reading Steven C Harper's book on Joseph Smith's first vision, his various reports of it, how they differ, and why. 

Some believers are afraid to look deeply into their beliefs for fear of losing their footing, for fear that all they hold sacred or valuable will come crashing down and they will be left floating, turning this way and that for someone to tell them what to think.

I do not like to be told what to think. I don't even like to be told what I ought to think. (Is that the same thing? Maybe.) Anyway, I like to believe I am independent and able to think on my own. This may or may not be true. Just filling space here.

Makes me think of the phone call the other day from Mike, the car salesman who believes that if he keeps calling me and sending me cards in the mail I will buy my next car from him. He is absolutely wrong. In fact, he could not be more wrong. His salesman-like behavior is certain to keep me from calling upon him as my sales guy. If and when I buy a new car.

Yes, it's true. I have come far afield from what I started to write about. So be it. I will get back to it one day because it all involves memory and experience and interpretation, and that, of course, makes me think of my friend with Alzheimer's. I visited her last week. 

See. I have much to write about.

Just one thought to ponder: Some people behave/proceed as if we have all that Joseph Smith ever said or wrote. We don't. On the first vision or any other subject.