The Face, Part 4

Emily Grosholz calls the face “that register of the soul,” which has a familiar ring. I grew up hearing my mother say, “the eyes are the window to the soul.” Grosholz also says, “The face is the jewel in the crown of the body.”

I have two pictures of me as a small child--if I could figure out my new computer well enough to post them, I would, but I can't yet. Both pictures show me as a child, three or four years old. One I like because you can see part of my Grandmother’s face. The other I like because you can see the profile of my face. Neither may be a jewel, but it is the face we want to see. Right? Otherwise, we can’t quite know the person.

Photographers sometimes take pictures of feet, bellies, butts, and other body parts—cute shots or novelty shots or pictures to sell something. But when they want to know and show the essence of the person, they shoot the face, “that register of the soul.”

That's something I believe, pretty much have always believed--that the soul shows in the face. I must have believed it, as evidenced by my behavior as an adolescent. I willfully made my face neutral, inscrutable. Or I tried to. So that no one could see what I was thinking, feeling, desiring. I'd walk into a social gathering or into a church meeting with my face as blank as I could make it, believing that then no one could read my face, see into my soul.

I wonder now if I was right. And was I trying to keep people away? Or intrigue them so they'd want to know me? I just assumed people were looking. Whichever the plan, I must have thought that was smart of me. Now I'm pretty sure it wasn't smart.

When I was very young, if I frowned or sulked, some adult would probably say something like, "You'd better not frown. Your face might get stuck that way." I thought that was impossible and quite silly. Now I'm pretty sure it wasn't so silly.