Eating Out, Part 3

Betty's Coke had a cockroach sort of floating in it, tucked in among the ice cubes.

"How big?" I asked, not that it matters. I mean, is a huge cockroach worse than a big one? They're all too big to make you happy about finding one in your drink.

"About medium size," she answered, "and it was dead." Not sure that matters either.

She had taken the lid off. "It was a mall food court," she said. "And it was Texas, so you kind of have to do that." She and Michelle dumped their lunch in the trash and escaped without eating.

I've eaten out in Texas. And maybe because of Betty, I checked my food at the Austin Chili's and discovered that the salad I ordered--dressing on the side--was sitting in about 1/2 cup of water. . . . I guess it was water. I hope it was water.

Complaining got me an apology from the manager and a gift certificate for another go at it. I wasn't satisfied, although I'm not sure what more I wanted.

But it isn't just Texas, and I know it's not just Chili's. But this was Chili's. In Boise.

There was this big group of flies that had congregated in a certain corner of that restaurant, where several pots of plants sat in the windows. Inside the windows, you know. My sister Janeen was visiting, a rare thing, and I took her to lunch. Our seat was with the fly congregation. I mean a lot of flies. The restaurant was crowded, so we just stayed there, but it was clear we were intruders, and the flies did not like us.

We spoke to the server and then the manager about it. He explained they aren't allowed to have fly swatters or sticky fly strips in the restaurant and are not allowed to kill the flies--Public Health regulations. Apparently, they are allowed let the flies land on customers' appetizers and entrées.

We didn't know if Public Health regulations allowed patrons to use menus, napkins, knives, or open hands to swat flies, or, in our case, swat at them, but that is what we did until we finally spied an empty table, grabbed our plates, and moved. It's a cinch the flies weren't about to move.

Yes, yes, I know. We should have walked out.